A brief me,
Hey there readers,
Coming back after a long,long,long time!
But what counts is being back to blogs.
Feels like old time but new me a more mature or immature myself ..(i really don’t know)
Sometimes i feel in a hoard to get all the answers we tend to complicate-mess our lives more.The past few months have been quite tiring for my brain to be honest.
I was on hyper-active active mode for no specific reason at all.But the thing that hurts the most was the fact that why we complicate our lives for such petty things.
Now for some people these things can be about career,car,relationship,maybe your worries need to be mentioned here anyways man everything can be cramped to this one thing “Get busy In Life” cause trust me if your getting busy in worrying that means you have so much luxury time of worrying about the things that you are unable to worry about the real things.
Only one life man to live the adventure.
Only one way ticket to the a movie called life.Enjoy it and don’t worry about the movie cause its upto you,how you want the story line to be. You are the only director,only actor.
Anyways man hope you become the best version of yourself and not the same person who entered this earth and leaving as well.
And whenever you are happy don’t try to think of reasons to worry. Make it the other way round whenever worrying,find the one thing to be happy.
If you can’t find one at least appreciate the breath you are breathing,the air you are taking in,the same air which billions of humans are taking in.
Have a good one life.
I too am struggling but still appreciate the breath i am taking in.
Lastly one last thing
“How many lives you got?”
Do tell !
Waiting for your answer.
A memory from the past worth remembering life time !!
So today (19th) I wasn’t able to sleep and, was trying to sleep from 12:15-1 am when fortunately my mom came in the room to switch off the fan.
I opened my eyes and ended my contemplation to sleep.
Anyways I knew this night I won’t be sleeping at all cause now with mom’s intrusion I was awake af.
But mother time and again forced me to sleep… And I was left with nothing than closed eyes but an awake mind.
So the spree of thought started showering in and I held one of them and here’s the end result.
What forced/inspired me to write this is person by the name of Jeeveshu Ahluwalia, he is a comedian.
I was watching a video of his on talk show where he said some hardcore facts about life.
*When u are poor ur dreams die first.
*He was broke when he started but ended up becoming BOD in a call centre with much property, tattoos, a big fat belly to his name at the age of 35
But he said he wasn’t satisfied or not fulfilled with this.
So he gave up all this and went ahead with his true calling..*Being A stand up comedian.
While living his life up until 35 he hadn’t had 35 memories that he could recall.
But now being 38 he could recall millions of them.
Hearing this I was taken aback and I introspected within self and started recalling some memories.
However I wasn’t able to.
But finally today at 4 in the morning while I wasn’t able to sleep again and again I thought over this… Which is that memory that I have… Memory.. Memory… I need a fucking memory…
Then it struck me….
Back in 10th grade. I was 15 year old boy..no I was 15 year old robot who would go to school sit with the same guy on the very same desk every day, talk about same things with the same person over and over on a loop for over 2-3 years…
Anyways i wasn’t complaining so there’s no point of changing this routine.
Anyhow going to school.. Back home.. Lunch/Nap.. Tuition.. Back home.. Sleep.
But but but..
There was memory, an incident, a night out that made my robotic self to change.
It was winters cause I remember wearing hoodie.
The tuition was over and it was 8 in the night.
On my way to home I was always accompanied by a sikh guy.. He was a chill cool guy
So the tuition was over now.
I was on the same route when the chill guy asked me to come with him to a friend of his with whom he had some urgent work.
*I usually had an instinct which always replies *No* to almost anything when another person asks for a favour.
But he kept on poking and I agreed finally.
(Even though there was nothing close to meeting a friend which the chill guy told me)
So first of all we reached BRS nagar. Something I want to share I might not know my surrounding that very well as I know BRS nagar.. Thats the amount of gediyaan and petrol I’ve spend there.
Moving on we both reached our first destination.
The house had green walls.. Who fucker paints green.. Thats the worst color in the history of mankind.
We both entered, the atmosphere was homely.. Not the artificial homely but his mother was welcoming so was his sister.
We stayed there for almost an hour and I don’t remember anything except that his mother was teacher.. He was making a project wherein he did something.. Something with something.. Wrapper copper around.. And ignited the whole fucking thing and there was gas emitted.. The whole veranda was lit up with light.. In the end he told me this experiment could be life saving since the gas emitted is not a normal gas that was ozone.
I was thrilled to see this..
Later his little sister constantly poked him to prepare her project which she needed to submit tomorrow.
Somehow both of them the chill guy and his friend made another plan to go to another friend’s place who lives somewhere around PAU.
I knew I had no business there but the chill guy was a sikh boy and he could persuade anyone.
So chalo chaleh PAU friend seh mileh.
*I was 10th grader hadn’t been out of the house after 8 pm and it was already 10:30 pm. I checked my phone and there were calls… Yes *calls*..
So here it was all there of us the chill guy and his friend on one activa and me driving solo.
We were about to enter PAU
But neither me nor the chill guy had the pass for entering PAU.
Where I was tensed what will happen when the guard asks for the passes… What will happen.. What will happen.. Kya hoga mera.. Meh To Gaya.. Heh bagwan
But the chill guy got both of in. #Backchodi
Winters time, late in the evening 10:30.. And open wide roads of PAU… What else bc??
I dont remember the gate no. But there was nescafe on our right… Many grounds of volleyball.. Football.. Athletics on our left. *If u have visited PAU u would know this road.
Moving on.. Nd.. On…. On…….
I am terrible with remembering roads so, no idea how but we entered the kabristan(Graveyard) through some roads in PAU
And honestly.. The air was cold.. Only two activas on the road..I was driving solo.. Both those bastards had company of each other .. Considering I wasn’t able to stop my mind from wandering and ultimately I was scared to death when I saw through my back mirror on the activa.. I felt someone was sitting on the rear seat of my vehicle.
But now when I look back.. All I can say Is what big douchebag I was back then…
*I started murmuring the lyrics of bohemia song.. *Nashe ch gadeh marran kabristan deh
That gave me strength to move forward.
Now the chill guy was filled with infinite stories to tell.. But trust me they were so vague that even 15 yr old me couldn’t believe that shit.. So there’s no point in sharing them.
Finally we reached…
The friend number 2 house.. It was a great place right in the middle of the forest in PAU.. but the time was 10 and there was no one around so his house reminded me if the old haunted house in the middle of nowhere.
All three of us entered..
And A big black dog starred right at me.. No he wasn’t starring at the other two.. Kyu bc??
And the usual way.. I jumped and ran around the house.. The dog chasing me.. The owner was smiling throughout the whole process and kept saying *kuch ni karega
So I gave up and I was mentally prepared to be bitten by this asshole dog..
But yes, nothing happened.
Again this visit lasted over 1 hour.. TV.. Chips.. Laughing.. Me checking and counting the missed calls of mom.. And lastly me and the asshole dog kept exchanging looks
I called my mom..
She was surprisingly calm..
I gave my explanation.. And since dad wasn’t home.. So yeah bruh I had the visa to come home late.
While leaving the house number 2… all three of them decided to eat at LC.
Yes sometime ago there was a diner with this name.. But since it was way too similar with KFC.. So it didn’t had much success…
But fortunately all four of us had the privilege to eat there.. It was in the main sarabha nagar market.
Taking the same route through kabristan.. But this time my guts were on another level cause I wasn’t driving solo.. Fully occupied activas.
*Kahan hai bhooth aa samneh bc!!
Finally we reached LC.. It was very late hour were the only customers there… Plus All four of us pure pure non veg..
Burgers, fries, chicken
Then came the time to pay… I was always running low on money when I was young.. Nothing of any specific issue.. Cause back in those day I was very much influenced by the term *saving.. And I would always calculate how much I would get If I invest the money rather than spending !!
Anyways somehow the bill got paid.. And I was the one taking majority share in eating.
It was late.. Bhoth late.. Late ka late.
First we dropped friend number 1 and 2 at former’s place.
But when we entered the homely atmosphere of friend number 1 had turned into a volcano.. The little sister of his was crying.. Saying tuneh mera project nahi banana.. Cries.. Cries.. Cries… Tuneh mera Project nahi banaya
Plus the mother was fuming… Not exaggerating anything but indeed I wanted to run.. Run.. Run
Her mother refused to allow friend number 2 to stay at her place.. #Lol
The chill guy came in and gave reasons as to why we were late..
While he was talking the doggie of friend number 1 came and started sniffing my feet.. This doggie was very nice.. Obedient.. It was one those hot dog style dog.
Anyways the mother was looking at us and we took leave.
By the way I thought it was not only in my household that my mother is constantly nagging me to come home…Sabkeh yahi haal hai.. Accha laga dhek keh.. Faith restored.
So now I was on my activa whereas the chill guy and friend number 2 on the other.
Again going back.. Taking the scared heart school route.. The skating stadium.. Kipps market.. PAU Photostat Road.. Rose garden.. KVM school..
And I was home..
Rang the bell.. Mother was coming.. Her hands crossed.. Opened the gate
The only thing she inquired was about food.. Am I full.. What did I had in the dinner.. What else do I want to eat now???
Yes, chicken, nothing
I said and dozed off to sleep.
i’m 20 now …one memory posted 19 to go…
*Comparison is the thief of happiness.
Indeed a great quote and probably the solution to majority of problems we are facing today.
I too indulge into comparisons whenever my mind wanders off.
But I firmly believe it is my, my, my and no one else’s responsibility to tame my brain and not letting it out in the fields of imagination.
A beautiful story I read in the past.
There was a rat(our brain) which always wanted to wander off and run wild outdoors but, it never did. But, one day the rat (our brain) wandered out of the hole and the moment it set is foot out, the rat was captured by the cat(All the things that make us unhappy) .
Thereby the time until our brain was able to live in the present then, it was safe and secure and mentally well however the moment it set it’s foot out in the future of thinking about the past things or the future .. Then At that very moment things started falling apart…
Thereby try, try, try, retry and be assertive towards ur brain and fight with it in order to keep it in the present.. Rather than running it loose in the fields and end up being eaten up by the cat.
*another great piece I read earlier.. Which again stressed upon the importance of living in the present.
The things it stated that we should all do to bring our attention in the present is by focusing on our breath whenever we wander off.
Further whenever u are feeling anxiety.. This can be because u are currently not in the present and u are either thinking of the past or the future.. And in both the cases u feel the anxiety about certain events…
So Rather than thinking over them.. Take time and try to get into the present. Get curious about your surroundings.
What color are the walls painted with.
Which piece of clothing u wearing.
There can be tons of other things for u to get into the present.
Hey hey there …well today I thought of sharing a thrownback.
Probably it was the best Monday I could ever have ..cause of some stupid..futuristic..insane..logical reasons
I can’t wait to share the story of Monday
So the day kicks off by me trying memorize some questions for my exam in an hour .
Since the days prior to exam ..i hadn’t had much output …so this was the only f hour I got to score passing marks.
Time passed by …I read questions..they weren’t getting into my head.
I decided the hell with this ..lets see what happens in the ppr. With full throttle on my bike I managed to cover 20 mins. Distance in some easy 10-12 mins.
But with the parking lot already full and I couldn’t afford to miss another minute …I parked the bike right in front of the entrance …with no security guard in sight I ran off…while running I was presented with another beautiful shock…The principal ..And some other important personalities were coming my way.
Somehow I managed to by pass them too…Meteor Avoided
Going towards the examination hall…while all of this was happening I knew in the back of my mind that yes ..i’m late …but not that late.
Making progress at my own pace towards examination hall…I saw 10-20 students standing behind the door that separates late comers from the non-late comers … the door between corridor and the examination hall.
At that instance I realized bitch I’m not late ..i’m very late.
Saw some familiar faces and asked the obvious question ..*Bhai late hogaeh kya…and came the obvious answer *Aaho.
At this point ..i wasn’t that much in grief cause …I knew my teachers they weren’t hitler…so obviously they won’t let so many students skip there exam and, thus we waited ..waited …waited..fanta..sandwich later a sir came and told us *Nahin..nahin…nahi (as if giving us triple-talak)..
U all have arrived late ..so no exam today ..come on time tomorrow and give the exam ….
And then the obvious retaliation by us *Arre sir why …we were here on time *Sir ur watch is ahead of time *Sir ,last warning *Please sir jii..
*Nahi…nahi..nahi (Came in the response )
But by now it was already 10:50 am ..and grief slowly started kicking in …*Shit was getting real
10 mins. Later except the students no one was there..no teacher..no security guard..except the 1000 year old camera .
Then the M.com students took the initiative and said….lets all enter the hall and tell the teacher that sir have allowed of us and lets get going with paper.
My first instinct was *hell noo bro… I can barely speak and now going to the room and telling this ….no ..no..no..
But those students were adamant to their statement ..so 2-3 students went ahead.
5 mins passed…10…15
They didn’t came back …so probably they got away with it .
So obviously that ignited the missing fire among the rest of us and we thought of other idea to get into the room…Half of us went through the same route of examination hall..but me along with others we went by some different route …since our route was way closer to the room where I was supposed to give exam.
But being closure came with some terms and conditions…for us we had to climb the grills about 8 feet high …it was similar to like Pakistanis’ want to enter india by climbing the LOC ..
We decided to go in a pair,
I was in the first lot of pair..hehe..#Daring
I was successful in climbing and in getting down as well….
At that very moment I regretted my Daring self
My examination room was in eye sight and a mofo sir caught me and the other person accompanying me.
The whole scene at that moment was like this…sir was standing in the middle..i was on his left and other party which took the different route was on his right side…par sir neh toh humeh heh pakadna thaa..kyonki god gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors (Ee lol)
I was blank at that moment….
We didn’t took the safe walking route..instead climbed the grills ..jumped on the ground …made a bang noise ..and boom caught red handed ….hadd hogi bc !!
Anyhow sir was smart and we were trying to be over smart probably that worked against us.
But anyways …I wasn’t the only one who was caught ..that was the only thing that made me happy..
He asked us to give our id cards..*I wasn’t carrying id card
Then I knew sir wasn’t the strict type ..so he went to discuss about us to some other teacher..which gave me ample time to run away…
I came down with a view of students starving to give paper…and here we were coming out as if coming to the pavilion after getting run out.
At this moment I realized …yes hum late hogeyeh thee and teachers weren’t fooling when they said we won’t be giving exam today…
Finally it was half time and the students who took the oath of *we will be out at half time …they were coming out…..hass rahe the hum peh bc !! #KoeNaa
Cahlo yeh toh hue exam keh baat …lets come to the real blog..the whole blog starts now..Soo
That’s it ..Monday the day which was supposed to be boring and would have been if I had given that ppr ..but somehow ppr hogaya miss…
And the in the remaining half time …Gedi-bhature-gedi..and exactly at full time returned to home…
*Bhoth badiya ppr hua
its that time of the year again..
October month …lazy mornings …college holidays..Exam sar peh hain ..par hum blog likhegey
Anyways a quick suggestion.Never read inspirational,motivational,travelling books whenever u are occupied for over 2 months .
In my case i have this humongous task of getting good marks.Not cause of my parents but to get through my foreign visa application easily ..so all-in-all i am in complete fux right now .First, i started reading *When the beckons by Ravi Manoram . Secondly, the book is very persuasive in away that i have already decided to go on solo trip when my exams are over ..that’s how well written the book is.Thirdly, my mind is not ready to focus on studies right now and such mood change has occured just when there are 7 days to go for my first exam.#GodBless
Its that time of the year again,
Its funny in a way that the things i used get bored of or irritated by are the now officially the things i enjoy the most all thanks to my coming exams.
The boy who never woke up to go to gym (for which i paid ) is now waking up everyday to go for morning run-pull ups-push ups-clap push ups-meditation and god knows what else. i’ve been doing the calisthenics routine for a while now but why now when all my focus should’ve been on learning and rotting my chapters.
Anyways i was a firm believer that time teaches everything but 7 days prior to exams and i am here writing this and doing meditation-calisthenics-Watching way too many awesome movies in a day-watching way too many episodes in a day -watching news ..wait u freak !! why news …indeed yes ..no reason why but i spend time there as well..#GodBless !!
Since its my mind ..so i need to tame it …enough of travelling books shit . Time to shift to Chetan Bhagat #OneIndianGirl. I noe there would drama-sex- drama-sex . So such books helps u in a way . ur brain nerves aren’t allowed to think beyond corporate life ..ur brain nerves aren’t allowed think about life beyond getting good marks and securing well-paid job. So yes indeed i am proud to shift to chetan bhagat …y not, i can actually see myself failing in every fk subject if my routine goes this way.*But trust me these past couple weeks have been fk incredible ..waking up ..going for heavy workouts-back home- sleeping -lunch-reading-takeout food-reading-cooking-breaking bad -sleeping again.
But time to change ..i will however continue with meditation …but will switch to chetan bhagat’s book which will help keep my mind within …and no more heavy workouts ..sit at home doing chapters ..giving exams …time out for some days…again exams ..and then finally after that back to routine .
Thats it That Time Of The Year is here to keep the desires intact and take responsibility
Well this series is my outspoken inner self talking about the things i wish. Enjoy !
Its 12:23 am in my laptop.
How are you !!
I am fat ,
And there’s reasons why I didn’t wanted you to ever exist. Why man why!!
Even though there’s hell many things that I don’t wish to exist (but ill talk about them later) but fat you are on the top of that list .
U asking why I have such grudges against you well, simplest one coming right your way .
Cause you make my face look oval ….not that there’s anything wrong with that ,but why only the face man !! why not the whole body . I am fed up with my weight at 70 kgs but my face suggesting 100 kgs. Why god dam it !!
Anyways you are not the only one to blame there’s an equal share of grudge I have against facial hair as well. Why the heck you give me a hard time growing back. Why isn’t there a switch button so that I can control when and how much I want to grow.
Therefore whenever I have a haircut and the barber cuts straight down from my lower half of the face. After the results come in I am nothing more than being feeling disgusted, disappointed to be precise.
Anyhow if I leave my-face-being-oval for a moment and think of all the good stuff that fat does to me .
Heart-attacks,High blood pressure, Diabetes ,and hell many other things …why cant I just have my sub or the mac-aloo –fries-cold drink or my 4 pc chicken –chicken fries-pepsi or my smokey burger-fries-garlic bread or the butter chicken-butter nan-thumbs up –afgani chicken without thinking about weight or the next morning workout which I have to do to burn you ..why fat why !! I ask you
What if you never-ever existed …just thinking about that brings in ecstasy .i can have all the above things until I go bankrupt at least ill be the first one who ill be happy to go bankrupt with a basket full of fries,chicken,shakes,mac-aloo,butter chicken ,rarra chicken in my belly first .
Anyways I am not scared of you even a bit …u’ll be shocked to know how much of the above things are waiting to be in my belly and the future plans I’m having to have much-more of other things to fill in my craving , ill continue to run …Ill continue to sweat ….and yes ill continue to burn you .
With that my first part of *Wish series ends and I’m much pleased that I talked about my first love *food* in it ..nothing could replace you my dear butter..oil..ghee . when I am done with you ill again run to make room for my next meal. #PurposeOfLife
Weekend’s approaching ..What to eat suggest something good 🙂
What about today …yes thats the question i am asking myself right now …
Who is this person ..why did u went out running in the morning when u dont even like this healthy lifestyle
Why did u meditate for god sake are u in ur senses …a person who cant even stop his mind from flooding with thoughts ….that guy meditate for 20 mins …whats wrong with u man
The person who doesn’t give a shit about exams, covered over 4 chapters ..WHAT !!!
The person who doesn’t like going to tuition in the evening,went there and like a boss asked questions while over 20 students staring …and not just that but talked to the pretty girl whom i didn’t have the guts to talk for over 2 years
God damm it …today definitely was someone else….
Lastly ,had a great haircut .
So whatsup every human being …
Talking about today,i surprised myself with all these things .Felt good cause life ain’t about living like a same person…thinking like a same person…having the same haircut…talking to same people.
But its all the way round …as they say, what we want to achieve is on the other side of the comfort zone .
So started out by running 5 rounds in the near-by park(2 Kms approx)..then i mediated even though i hate sitting and concentrating but i read somewhere that all the answers are in introspection.
i don’t think i am able write properly about today maybe all these emotions are coming in the way ..anyhow i’ll come up with a refined one later …until then enjoy these raw typing straight outta my brain.
now coming back to that girl part ….i entered tuition and i saw approx. 20-30 pupils sitting and starring at me cause i was late ..
But the seat i occupied was next to the pretty girl !! i asked her *is this occupied* to which she smiled *dead there and then .
Then i told myself this is gonna be awkward if i don’t talk her in the following one hour .
And yes i did talk…initially it was strange cause i couldn’t my emotions and they were getting in the way.
somehow we continued talking until a point where My tuition teacher pointed me out to stay quite *damm u
anyways talking to her made me realize its all about taking the initial step and not letting yourself restricted by saying to oneself that she wont talk you because of various reasons that you have in the head .
Moving on ,looking forward to some more experiences to share with you and want to know ur experiences as well…comment below ..lets talk
Time – 12:17 am
A day perfectly designed to test my patience, endurance, anger and God knows what else.
Woke up at around 6. Made a mental note to go for running and come back home at 6:30. Woke up actually at 6:20 and after much internal fight I was out for running. On my way I met my running nightmare.. Stray dogs Not just a handful of them but the full gang and one of them was making sounds as if calling for more of his homies.
I can’t figure out why these dogs only come in my way.. There’s whole city out there for them to explore but naa they ain’t interested in that.
Got home after 20mins. Even though today’s progress in running was low but still better than sleeping. #JawlineGoals on the way.
Moving through the day.. My dad gave me this humongous, mountainous, godzillan, trump’s wall… Task of submitting documents in the bank and getting his and mother’s driving license from a local government office.
Task 1 – Submitting Documents
Well I completed this one without much complications
Task 2 – Getting The Driving license
Trust me… When In India.. In punjab (Bjp Sarkar)… In ludhiana (Pollution, heat) and u want to get something from a government office… *Tumara Din Wahin Karab
First I parked my activa in the parking outside… Even though a few days back I read about the kind of exploitation the parking lot owners are doing by tearing off the ticket wherein info about the time and rates is written.. I thought of revolting back and be a rebel but I got out of my imagination and walked towards the office.
Luckily I had a *Jugard already in the office yet it took me over 2 hrs. to get license in my hands. *God knows what happens to the ones who believe in walking into government’s office with no Jugard.
Anyways I met with Mr Rajan.. Even though I make a presumption about every government employee that he/she is so full of shit and corruption.. But seeing Mr Rajan I wasn’t quite sure whether I should put him into that category cause he seemed concentrated in his own task rather than sitting idle and sipping tea.
I told him about my situation.. He took his own time but finally made some arrangements and send me over to another building where I was to meet another person then again another pupil and finally got the required license..
Even though words couldn’t describe the kinda heat inside me when a mere 20 min thing took over 2 hrs. *Fak
(And I took off from my college to see movie but obviously ended up doing these things) *What a day
Choleh – Kulche for lunch.
*Big Day Always.
*Day Ruined By Father’s Driving License
Time – 1:44 am
Doc Date – 21st Sept
Soo yes yesterday was a good day.. Still can’t believe what is did. I saw a girl near Photostate shop.. I couldn’t recognise her but later I did, we both used to come at the same tuition. She was struggling to get her activa out and she was with her mother.
Now why am I saying I couldn’t believe what I did… Because usually I in these kinda situation I would run away before there’s any awkwardness between us and I was supposed to help her to get her activa out considering she won’t be able to do so…
Well what I did was walked upto her.. Her mother gave me a surprised look … I asked her, U need help… She asked to move the bike which was blocking the way… I moved the bike… She raced her activa.. And thanked me.. Her mother too looked at me and thanked me….
Now this may be a mundane task for anyone but I Noe for me it was a big deal…. Plus Now I have done this there’s no looking back.. There’s only forward looking… And I felt real good after that.. Plus I had a little crush on her a while ago.. So this small encounter was cherry on the cake…
Now the things boils down to this… I won’t look or say anything to make me look desperate… It’s all about keeping the mind calm… And realising there’s only life either fill it daily with new experiences and new people or the same old shit..
*The Time She Looked
#She #Her #Crush #Feel #Beat #Fly