Memory : Cold Spine

A memory from the past worth remembering life time !!

So today (19th) I wasn’t able to sleep and, was trying to sleep from 12:15-1 am when fortunately my mom came in the room to switch off the fan.
I opened my eyes and ended my contemplation to sleep.
Anyways I knew this night I won’t be sleeping at all cause now with mom’s  intrusion I was awake af.
But mother time and again forced me to sleep… And I was left with nothing than closed eyes but an awake mind.
So the spree of thought started showering in and I held one of them and here’s the end result.
*Memories*
What forced/inspired me to write this is person by the name of Jeeveshu Ahluwalia, he is a comedian.
I was watching a video of his on talk show where he said some hardcore facts about life.
Like
*When u are poor ur dreams die first.
*He was broke when he started but ended up becoming BOD in a call centre with much property, tattoos, a big fat belly to his name at the age of 35
But he said he wasn’t satisfied or not fulfilled with this.
So he gave up all this and went ahead with his true calling..*Being A stand up comedian.

While living his life up until 35 he hadn’t had 35 memories that he could recall.
But now being 38 he could recall millions of them.

Hearing this I was taken aback and I introspected within self and started recalling some memories.
However I wasn’t able to.

But finally today at 4 in the morning while I wasn’t able to sleep  again and again I thought over this… Which is that memory that I have… Memory.. Memory… I need a fucking memory…

Then it struck me….
Back in 10th grade. I was 15 year old boy..no I was 15 year old robot who would go to school sit with the same guy on the very same desk every day, talk about same things with the same person over and over on a loop for over 2-3 years…
Anyways i wasn’t complaining so there’s no point of changing this routine.
Anyhow going to school.. Back home.. Lunch/Nap.. Tuition.. Back home.. Sleep.

But but but..
There was memory, an incident, a night out that made my robotic self to change.

It was winters cause I remember wearing  hoodie.
The tuition was over and it was 8 in the night.
On my way to home I was always accompanied by a sikh guy.. He was a chill cool guy
So the tuition was over now.
I was on the same route when the chill guy asked me to come with him to a friend of his with whom he had some urgent work.

*I usually had an instinct which always replies *No* to almost anything when another person asks for a favour.

But he kept on poking and I agreed finally.
(Even though there was nothing close to meeting a friend which the chill guy told me)
So first of all we reached BRS  nagar. Something I want to share I might not know my surrounding that very well as I know BRS nagar.. Thats the amount of gediyaan and petrol I’ve spend there.

Moving on we both reached our first destination.
The house had green walls.. Who fucker paints green.. Thats the worst color in the history of mankind.
We both entered, the atmosphere was homely.. Not the artificial homely but his mother was welcoming so was his sister.
We stayed there for almost an hour and I don’t remember anything except that his mother was teacher.. He was making a project wherein he did something.. Something with something.. Wrapper copper around.. And ignited the whole fucking thing and  there was gas emitted.. The whole veranda was lit up with light.. In the end he told me this experiment could be life saving since the gas emitted is not a normal gas that was ozone.
I was thrilled to see this..

Later his little sister constantly poked him to prepare her project which she needed to submit tomorrow.

Somehow both of them the chill guy and his friend made another plan to go to another friend’s place who lives somewhere around PAU.

I knew I had no business there but the chill guy was a sikh boy and he could persuade anyone.

So chalo chaleh PAU friend seh mileh.
*I was 10th grader hadn’t been out of the house after 8 pm and it was already 10:30 pm. I checked my phone and there were calls… Yes *calls*..

So here it was all there of us the chill guy and his friend on one activa and me driving solo.

We were about to enter  PAU
But neither me nor the chill guy had the pass for entering PAU.
Where I was tensed what will happen when the guard asks for the passes… What will happen.. What will happen.. Kya hoga mera.. Meh To Gaya.. Heh bagwan

But the chill guy got both of in. #Backchodi
Winters time, late in the evening 10:30.. And open wide roads of PAU… What else bc??

Moving on..
I dont remember the gate no. But there was nescafe on our right… Many grounds of volleyball.. Football.. Athletics on our left. *If u have visited PAU u would know this road.

Moving on.. Nd.. On…. On…….
I am terrible with remembering roads so, no idea how but we entered the kabristan(Graveyard)  through some roads in PAU
And honestly.. The air was cold.. Only two activas on the road..I was driving solo.. Both those bastards had company of each other .. Considering I wasn’t able to stop my mind from wandering and ultimately I was scared to death when I saw through my back mirror on the activa.. I felt someone was sitting on the rear seat of my vehicle.
But now when I look back.. All I can say Is what big douchebag I was back then…

*I started murmuring  the lyrics of bohemia song.. *Nashe ch gadeh marran kabristan deh

That gave me strength to move forward.

Now the chill guy was filled with infinite stories to tell.. But trust me they were so vague that even 15 yr old me couldn’t believe that shit.. So there’s no point in sharing them.

Finally we reached…
The friend number 2 house.. It was a great place right in the middle of the forest in PAU.. but the time was 10 and there was no one around so his house reminded me if the old haunted house in the middle of nowhere.
All three of us entered..
And A big black dog starred right at me.. No he wasn’t starring at the other two.. Kyu bc??
And the usual way.. I jumped and ran around the house.. The dog chasing me.. The owner was smiling throughout the whole process and kept saying *kuch ni karega
So I gave up and I was mentally prepared to be bitten by this asshole dog..
But yes, nothing happened.

Again this visit lasted over 1 hour.. TV.. Chips.. Laughing.. Me checking and counting the missed calls of mom.. And lastly me and the asshole dog kept exchanging looks

I called my mom..
She was surprisingly calm..
I gave my explanation.. And since dad wasn’t home.. So yeah bruh I had the visa to come home late.

While leaving the house number 2… all three of them decided to eat at LC.
Yes sometime ago there was a diner with this name.. But since it was way too similar with KFC.. So it didn’t had much success…
But fortunately all four of us had the privilege to eat there.. It was in the main sarabha nagar market.

Taking the same route through kabristan.. But this time my guts were on another level cause I wasn’t driving solo.. Fully occupied activas.
*Kahan hai bhooth aa samneh bc!!

Finally we reached LC.. It was very late hour were the only customers there… Plus All four of us pure pure non veg..
Burgers, fries, chicken
Then came the time to pay… I was always running low on money when I was young.. Nothing of any specific issue.. Cause back in those day I was very much influenced by the term *saving.. And I would always calculate how much I would get If I invest the money rather than spending !!

Anyways somehow the bill got paid.. And I was the one taking majority share in eating.

Food was ✊✊
It was late.. Bhoth late.. Late ka late.
First we dropped friend number 1 and 2 at former’s place.
But when we entered the homely atmosphere of friend number 1 had turned into a volcano.. The little sister of his was crying.. Saying tuneh mera project nahi banana.. Cries.. Cries.. Cries… Tuneh mera Project nahi banaya

Plus the mother was fuming… Not exaggerating anything but indeed I wanted to run.. Run.. Run
Her mother refused to allow friend number 2 to stay at her place.. #Lol

The chill guy came in and gave reasons as to why we were late..
While he was talking the doggie of friend number 1 came and started sniffing my feet.. This doggie was very nice.. Obedient.. It was one those hot dog style dog.

Anyways the mother was looking at us and we took leave.
By the way I thought it was not only in my household that my mother is constantly nagging me to come home…Sabkeh yahi haal hai.. Accha laga dhek keh.. Faith restored.

So now I was on my activa whereas the chill guy and friend number 2 on the other.

Again going back.. Taking the scared heart school route.. The skating stadium.. Kipps market.. PAU Photostat Road.. Rose garden.. KVM school..

And I was home..
Rang the bell.. Mother was coming.. Her hands crossed.. Opened the gate
The only thing she inquired was about food.. Am I full.. What did I had in the dinner.. What else do I want to eat now???

Yes, chicken, nothing
I said and dozed off to sleep.
🚶🚶

i’m 20 now …one memory posted 19 to go…

Late night talks – *Quotes 

​*Comparison is the thief of happiness. 

Indeed a great quote and probably the solution to majority of problems we are facing today. 

I too indulge into comparisons whenever my mind wanders off. 

But I firmly believe it is my, my, my and no one else’s responsibility to tame my brain and not letting it out in the fields of imagination. 

A beautiful story I read in the past. 

It said.. 

There was a rat(our brain) which always wanted to wander off and run wild outdoors but, it never did. But, one day the rat (our brain) wandered out of the hole and the moment it set is foot out, the rat was captured by the cat(All the things that make us unhappy) . 

Thereby the time until our brain was able to live in the present then, it was safe and secure and mentally well however the moment it set it’s foot out in the future of thinking about the past things or the future .. Then At that very moment things started falling apart… 

Thereby try, try, try, retry and be assertive towards ur brain and fight with it in order to keep it in the present.. Rather than running it loose in the fields and end up being eaten up by the cat. 
*another great piece I read earlier.. Which again stressed upon the importance of living in the present. 

The things it stated that we should all do to bring our attention in the present is by focusing on our breath whenever we wander off. 

Further whenever u are feeling anxiety.. This can be because u are currently not in the present and u are either thinking of the past or the future.. And in both the cases u feel the anxiety about certain events… 

So Rather than thinking over them.. Take time and try to get into the present. Get curious about your surroundings. 

‌What color are the walls painted with. 

‌ Which piece of clothing u wearing. 

There can be tons of other things for u to get into the present. 
🔅🔅

That Time Of The Year

Yup !

its that time of the year again..

October month …lazy mornings …college holidays..Exam sar peh hain ..par hum blog likhegey

Anyways a quick suggestion.Never read inspirational,motivational,travelling books whenever u are occupied for over 2 months .

In my case i have this humongous task of getting good marks.Not cause of my parents but to get through my foreign visa application easily ..so all-in-all i am in complete fux right now .First, i started reading *When the beckons by Ravi Manoram . Secondly, the book is very persuasive in away that i have already decided to go on solo trip when my exams are over ..that’s how well written the book is.Thirdly, my mind is not ready to focus on studies right now and such mood change has occured just when there are 7 days to go for my first exam.#GodBless

Its that time of the year again,

Its funny in a way that the things i used get bored of or irritated by are the now officially the things i enjoy the most all thanks to my coming exams.

The boy who never woke up to go to gym (for which i paid ) is now waking up everyday to go for morning run-pull ups-push ups-clap push ups-meditation and  god knows what else. i’ve been doing the calisthenics routine for a while now but why now when all my focus should’ve been on learning and rotting my chapters.

Anyways i was a firm believer that time teaches everything but 7 days prior to exams and i am here writing this and doing meditation-calisthenics-Watching way too many awesome movies in a day-watching way too many episodes in a day -watching news ..wait u freak !! why news …indeed yes ..no reason why but i spend time there as well..#GodBless !!

But,

Since its my mind ..so i need to tame it …enough of travelling books shit  . Time to shift to Chetan Bhagat #OneIndianGirl. I noe there would drama-sex- drama-sex . So such books helps u in a way . ur brain nerves aren’t allowed to think beyond corporate life ..ur brain nerves aren’t allowed think about life beyond getting good marks and securing well-paid job. So yes indeed i am proud to shift to chetan bhagat …y not, i can actually see myself failing in every fk subject if my routine goes this way.*But trust me these past couple weeks have been fk incredible ..waking up ..going for heavy workouts-back home- sleeping -lunch-reading-takeout food-reading-cooking-breaking bad -sleeping again.

But time to change ..i will however continue with meditation …but will switch to chetan bhagat’s book which will help keep my mind within …and no more heavy workouts ..sit at home doing chapters ..giving exams …time out for some days…again exams ..and then finally after that back to routine .

Thats it That Time Of The Year is here to keep the desires intact and take responsibility

Adios!!

What about today

What about today …yes thats the question i am asking myself right now …

Who is this person ..why did u went out running in the morning when u dont even like this healthy lifestyle

Why did u meditate for god sake are u in ur senses …a person who cant even stop his mind from flooding with thoughts ….that guy meditate for 20 mins …whats wrong with  u man

The person who doesn’t give a shit about exams, covered over 4 chapters ..WHAT !!!

The person who doesn’t like going to tuition in the evening,went there and like a boss asked questions while over 20 students staring …and not just that but talked to the pretty girl whom i didn’t have the guts to talk for over 2 years

God damm it …today definitely was someone else….

Lastly ,had a great haircut .

So whatsup every human being …

Talking about today,i surprised myself with  all these things .Felt good cause life ain’t about living like a same  person…thinking like a same person…having the same haircut…talking to same people.

But its all the way round …as they say, what we want to achieve is on the other side of the comfort zone .

So started out by running 5 rounds in the near-by park(2 Kms approx)..then i mediated even though i hate sitting and concentrating but i read somewhere that all the answers are in introspection.

i don’t think i am able write properly about today maybe all these emotions are coming in the way ..anyhow i’ll come up with a refined one later …until then enjoy these raw typing straight outta my brain.

now coming back  to that girl part ….i entered tuition and i saw approx. 20-30 pupils sitting and starring at me cause i was late ..

But the seat i occupied was next to the pretty girl !! i asked her *is this occupied* to which she smiled *dead there and then .

Then i told myself this is gonna be awkward if i don’t talk her in the following one hour .

And yes i did talk…initially it was strange cause i couldn’t my emotions and they were getting in the way.

somehow we continued talking until a point where My tuition teacher pointed me out to stay quite *damm u

anyways talking to her made me realize its all about taking the initial step and not letting yourself restricted by saying to oneself that she wont talk you because of various reasons that you have in the head .

Moving on ,looking forward to some more experiences to share with you and want to know ur experiences as well…comment below ..lets talk

Beas 

It was already 10 pm and I received the final confirmation call about our short trip to beas.

Mr. Gaurav gave me 4:30 am(Saturday) bracket to reach his place then, from there to Mr. Tandon’s place and then finally to beas. We were 5 in total.

So it was 10:30 already and I skipped my evening nap as well (Friday) plus I had breaking bad episode 3 on reminder as well… So all-in-all I was in a pretty crappy situation.

But I choose not to sleep and watch the episode (Walter thing).

The show ended and no matter what I had to sleep or else I won’t be able to wake up at 3:30.

Next thing I noe, I was up  at 3:29 am (swear on, dal makhni). Nk!

So I slept a bit more, then came Mr gaurav’s official call and i didn’t sleep after that.

While I was up I had this weird comparison wherein, I am always late for my morning tuition at 7 am but right now at 3:30 am I am fresh af.

Moving on, I booked ola to reach Mr tandon’s place (That costed over 270 bucks. But considering it was 5 in the morning and I had a comfortable ride in  ertica. So yeah ok ok ((If you have other cheaper options for travelling in morning.. Do comment)))

Fast forward to 7:30 am, we were in beas. Nice pleasant morning. Just in time for Puri. I searched for a spot for all of us to sit. And finally the moment was there.. Nice pleasant morning.. Over 15 Puris in front of me  with Chai and company of ass**** what else.

Belly was full and I had to make room for the next meal so all 5 of us roamed around and reached the satsang ghar where the satsang was about to start. It was 10 pm when It ended. A few things i would like to share from the satsang… So that you all could visit beas through this blog.

*Our mind is the sole power in this world there’s nothing more destructive than this nor innovative. It is upon us how we want to use it.

*Sow good seeds into your brain it will reap good or vis-a-vis.

*It is never the situation which is good or bad but, our mindset towards that situation.

*Our body follows the mind. Convince your brain first then do the rest.
So after that, we all sat down in the shade (The kind of greenery in beas deserves applause).

I was relaxing.. Laid over ground , hands behind head, looking above.. Waiting for some kind of inspiration to strike but I heard Mr. Shivam talking about some massage place.. And gayi bhais pani meh… I totally lost track of any inspiration… So I too joined the much elite topic of massage place and happy ending.

Group of 20 yr olds… Sitting idle.. No phones in pockets to kill time… So we started talking about college, facebook, suvreen chawla, daru, happy endings, russia.

We lost track of time, and it was already 2 pm.. That means time to head for the main-main thing that was *Question and Answers round*. So what is this thing all about.

Well, as explained to me by Mr. gaurav, this involves a total of 20 people (10 Boys 10 Girls) within the age group of 19-23. But how are these selected??  Well, once the satsang is over then everyone who falls in the above category have to deposit a slip and then out of draw 20 people are selected at random *fair enough.

I too had a dream to walk up to the stage and ask a question but the odds were soo against me that I kept my emotions under control and enjoyed other pupils questions.

Some were damm straight khappi, others were inspirational.

A question by one of them

* I have a hairfall problem and cause of that everyone is joking about me.

Answer by guru ji

*Don’t worry about such things aur ab toh ganja hona sexy hai *over 1000 janta laughed altogether

Another question

*Whenever i am doing something I never ever get the desired result moreover I feel I am not capable of doing anything.

Answer by guru ji

*Wherever you do something, do it out of any expectations of good or bad. Moreover everything in this world is difficult if you tell yourself and mind that it is difficult… Take example of changing weather .. You don’t have any control over that.. But still we adapt ourselves to the changing seasons rather complaining about the heat in summers and the rest. So it is upon us whether we want to stay at one place for the rest of lives or make ourselves mentally strong to face different situations.

Hmmnmm,

So after that mind refreshing session we were now free  and without wasting  time we moved towards exiting beas so as to avoid any delay due to traffic jams.
On our way out Mr raja, ishu and me we all were feeling thankful for whatever the God has blessed us with academic wise. *ab bcom Waleh aur kya baat karengey.

In a way we were also criticising the way PU checks papers cause they are also operating on a lucky draw model while checking papers.

*If your name starts from M  then, tumari supli in economics.

*Paper dalo bahar seh magar grace. mat do sabko.
Anyways bullshit continues… And after a while we had dinner at 6:30 pm in havehli *koe naa

Beautiful crowd made it difficult for me to breathe properly.

A few things I want to tell about this place.

I’ve been here when I was very small baccha..

I was innocent…

I had the same 3 friends…

And I really liked the truck inside havehli
But fast forward to now everything took a 360 ° turn but the truck was still there.. Seeing that made me realise how far I’ve come and yet still there. * nostalgic
Dal Makhni – Kadhi Paneer – Shahi Paneer – Butter Nan- Roti

But even if only, I had Dal Makhni and nan I would’ve been more satisfied.

*Just then I realised adjacent to havehli there’s Subway- Macdonalds 24 hr . So if anyone’s interested *karo comment and banano programme.

Mr shivam was the one driving on the way back, returned the toll tax ticket and when I saw the shiv mandir.. I asked for blessing but in a way I was sad cause seeing shiv mandir made me realise that the trip was near its end *Ludhiana reached.
After mandatory goodbyes, I reached home-mom-khana-bath-whatsapp-insta-Tv-Soogayeh 🍻🍻🍻
Hope u enjoyed. It’s Tuesday past midnight and I visited beas last Saturday so yes kudos to my sharp memory.

Any new song u listed to or the movie or new saheli in ur life do share info.

I’ve been listing to lamborghini by Rd madan (Haryanvi song hai… Full tait)

Movie meh tiger aur pink.. Tiger toh dhekni padhi but pink mann seh dheki.. Amazing Movie.. Gave me another prospective to look at girls, made a lot of sense.. Superb work by Mr bachhan.. I don’t think any other actor (except Irfan Khan) would’ve been able to deliver the performance if not him.

Thats it yo yo honey Singh… See you in next……

Snapchat, Instagram – itzaditya

*Haveli whole crew

#Beas #Sarurday #Procastinate #Yahoo

Birthday

So as the title says yes it was my birthday 2 days ago,and thanks to my procrastination i have successfully started with the blog which was supposed to be done on the birthday itself,anyways finally i have started with it that’s good …

But why do i need a blog for my birthday?

well i want to grow old and look at this blog after 10 years and want to know about  how i would feel then about this day …whether  the same me pops up  or if there’s a change in the mindset regarding birthdays

also i don’t like celebrating or being a whole fuss about it but there were things that happened on my B-day that i really felt good about and added some new experiences which definitely i would cherish for a long time.

first and the foremost thing which lifted my mood to whole fk new level was when i received a phone call at 9 in the morning …

it was an unknown number…that wasn’t the strange part cause i hardly save any number on my second phone…i picked up the phone …(((((well my second phone is samsung’s wave 525 and its been over 5 years since i had that and over the years the phone had slowed down , and that slowing process has actually mad e my phone to cause a delay of 5 seconds after i pick any call…so all-in-all)))). At 9 am i had a call from an unknown number i was anxious who it was plus my mind coming up with all the random girls  and the delay of 5 seconds because of my phone’s super-fast RAM made me even more excited. Finally I heard a girl’s voice on the other side *Holy Sheeeeeet*who is this girl…such a sweet voice…she remembered my Bday …who are u angel ???

*Aditya bol raha hai* she said softly

*Yes, i am aditya who are you * i said (cant explain the feeling)

*arre gurpreet mam bol rahi ho*

MY mind only registered the words MAM and  the hopes shattered .

Koe nnaa , hota hai…. she asked me check my IELTS results cause it would be declared today on day when i was turning 20…wah bagwan result bhi aaj heh aana tha…

Lets get back to reality …even though my parents are pretty liberal when it comes to result but the money i would for the party  were all dependent on much bands ill get in IELETS.(Typical)That’s true and i had to deal with it .

next thing i know

*Picked my phone

*www.idp.com/results

*Hit Go

* Results Section

*Aditya verma

*8 FUCKING overall bands

(add some extreme explicit language here times 100 ,yup thats how i fet and told my mom and chahi ji, chahu ji,dad and lastly posted in every whatsapp group)

Hell yeah, at 9:00 my hopes were shattered ,at 9:15 i wanted nothing in this world than to rest on the bed for the whole day and try to gulp in the achievement of 8 bands …How priority changes

So yes ur boy got all high 8 bands …First in my institute to get this ….teachers were shocked/happy…i went to the institute at around 1 pm there teacher asked me to deliver some key points to fellow students …*Felt good standing there,gave them some viewpoints and told them to watch as many english movies as they can …on this  my teacher gave me weird looks..but i was honest

Anyways i was amazed at how fast the day was ending but at no point i thought of freezing a moment …cause one shouldn’t stick to moment no matter how sad or happy it is …just move on … explore new places …meet new people ….But with my result, i felt satisfied and the feeling of achievement(i worked my ass off to be precise)

So back to the day,

i received many warm wishes from friends and family …but this one person texted me . i was having no contact with him for the past couple of months  but he was dear of mine for the past many years and his text showed up ..considering i did’t wished him on his day  so i wan’t expecting anything but to my surprise not everyone takes grudge so seriously and reading his text i felt huge respect for him…. he did present me with a lesson that day.

Moving on,

I called up my group to a local restaurant for treat, but they were in no mood to let go of anything cause of the result.

I had this feeling that i’m gonna be ripped out my pockets when a dear friend of mine ordered *Palak Kofta* ,with all due respect who TF orders *Palak Kofta* that was simply rip-off.

Anyways the outstanding service of the waiters made my dinner lasted for over 2 hours.

We all were standing outside, some started coming out with more plans for today out which we decided to try ice-cream of cremica at sarabha nagar …which would solve two purposes, firstly the ice cream and second the most important 10 PM friday night roaming in sarabha nagar .

So it was getting late at about 10:20 some decided to leave ….but ….but …but

Night’s still young .

Headed for my first ever *cigarette*,

It was late 11 in night ..no traffic…no lights…nothing to disturb the moment when i had the first puff …

I didn’t felt a thing. But i had to try it to settle my own self who was urging for the experience.

Finally i was home …told mom about everything but that.

And thats about it .

IELTS-SATISFYING-PUSHUPS-DINNER-NIGHT RIDE-PUFF

Thanks for your time. I hope ur internet data was well spent.

Adios good health and wife to you.

*just a last minute advise no matter how happy u are cause of your results never post or tell it to your friends that too on your birthday …It would save a couple thousand bucks for sure.

Memories From The Day

Snapchat – itzaditya 

*Whole Group (Leading The Front)
*Bhai
*Basant – Ludhiana
*Perfect Ending